Broken

This photo was taken recently, it also proves how happy a person can look and still fool people into convincing them they are happy, but there’s only so much one can take before it bubbles over and all the emotions come out at the same time.

Recently it’s been hard, I’ve got so much going on with my family life, that the repercussions of that is my state of mental health is spiralling again. I know how to help myself, I have my own techniques on controlling it, but I’ve been doing so well lately that these old feelings of anxiety start coming back and it’s hard to accept that it’s never going to go away.

I want everything to be okay, and I keep trying to convince myself that it will eventually be okay. But what do I do in the meantime? How can I overcome these feelings while I’m suffering? I end up crying myself to sleep and then waking up and feeling ill and start crying again. I know it’s the depression poking through again, it knows it hasn’t shown its face in a while and wants to say hello, well guess what? I don’t want to talk, you can stay in the back of mind and hide like you’ve been doing for the past year.

I will get better, this is just a blip, a minor blip which I will look back on and smile because I survived it. but for now I need to tread through it and stamp on everything that gets in my way, I know I’ve got that courage I’ve seen it before.

TTFN x