Was I Lucky?

This post mentions subjects and my personal experiences with body image, some of it may be a possible trigger warning to those that can relate. I mean no harm I am just explaining my thoughts and experiences. Please message me via any of my social media links if you need someone to talk to.

All my life I’ve been told that I’m “lucky” to be “skinny”, I had people put their fingers around my wrist just emphasise how small they were, I was one of those that could eat whatever and not gain weight because of my metabolism, but apparently because I was so “lucky” I wasn’t allowed to be self conscious of my weight, I wasn’t allowed to hate my body, I was told I was weird when I expressed that I wanted to gain weight, I was 18 and still had no shape to my body, I know I’m not the only person that suffers with this but my god I am fed up of being told how “lucky” I am, or how I should be grateful for the way I look. Being told all of this when I was younger made me feel selfish when I looked at my body negatively, I looked in the mirror and not only cried at what I saw, I also cried at how selfish I felt for feeling this way and that should never have been put upon me. Sometimes I wish I could give my younger self a hug and tell her how perfect she was but then I slap myself on the wrist because I still struggle now with how I look and that would be hypocritical of me.

First off I wish I could tell my younger self that all bodies are beautiful and I shouldn’t have hated mine. But we can’t go back in time and change things or thoughts, we have to deal with the here and now where unfortunately not much has changed and some people still think the same.

So I’m now 23 and now that I’m older my body is changing with it and it’s the first time that I have rolls on my belly, all my life I wanted to gain weight and now I have I still find something to hate on. When does it stop? When will I be able to look in the mirror and be happy with the reflection?

I remind myself everyday how wonderful my body is but I have days where I don’t believe that, some of my favourite dresses that I used to wear all the time I am now too self-conscious to put on. Society is awful for making these unrealistic beauty standards that women struggle to reach. Women get criticised for whatever they do now. Women gain weight and are then told to lose it, but on the other side of things when they lose it, they are then told that they need more “meat” on them.

I look back at all those things I was told when I was younger and realise I wasn’t “lucky” at all, I was simply a girl who was extremely self-conscious to which society added pressure on to. No woman should ever feel like their body isn’t good enough, we don’t do enough to pick each other up we just find ways to pick each other apart and I’m angry that that’s how the world is, since when was that tolerated?

Let’s all take part in some female empowerment, next time you come across a picture on instagram of your female friends, loved ones or even a stranger, say something nice or even just a positive emoji, let’s fill parts of the world with compliments rather than tear each other apart. Are you with me?

TTFN x